“The Door”

I’ve been wanting to write about this for a long time, and now that we’re in the season where love is often thought about, I feel it’s time to share my version of what I call “the door.” First of all that name emanated from a conversation I was having with one of my friends, Moe. I was going through a phase that left me in awe but also taught me how to regain faith in myself as a person.

So the gist was that I was talking to this guy for about two years. We never met in person and still haven’t met but we’ve been friends for that long. With time, I grew fond of the person. Funny enough every other person could see that but me lol. Eventually, I had to tell myself the truth, which was the obvious fact that I liked him a lot. There were times, I dreamed about our future and it was shining so bright that I was even thinking the sun got nothing!

Long story short, the feeling was one sided and that sucked! We were still friends but it was hard reading him. Along the way, there were lots of mixed messages and that got me all messed up. It was hard to tell if he liked me and that was really awful.  And being a “girl” and all, being vulnerable was the last thing on my mind. And, my pride didn’t let me ask what the deal was at first. In fact, it seemed like I was in my own bubble and the only way to get out was to verify the essence of our seeming relationship at the time. This continued for a while and for months I struggled with the thought of asking him what we were doing in our ongoing friendship.

Read Part II here


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