This brings me to the actual description of the “the door.” What is the “door?”
- The door is that stumbling block that stops you from getting the answers you need to move on with your life. This could be in relationships, friendships, at your job and even in your family.
- The door can be your ego, your faith or your integrity as a person.
- The door can be you reacting to the society’s ideals of what should be tolerated/pursued by a certain gender.
- The door can ultimately mean your heart and your soul.
In this case, my door was not just the societal ideals of a boy asking the girl out first, my door was me being vulnerable to whatever laid behind (heartbreak, and disappointment).
Back to my story…Even family became involved in the tussle. Guys, my life was literally on hold for months (who send me o) lol. It was as if talking to another guy was a taboo. For some strange reason, I had the hope that one day we’d have a conversation about moving forward. Like I said, that never happened. Eventually last year, with the help of friends, I summoned the courage to have what I hoped would be “a conversation.”
I asked what he thought about me. Simple question right, trust me it took hours to construct (i’m not even kidding)! He dodged the question for a while, and that did not fly with me. His first response was “I think you’re jovial and outgoing” lmao. It’s funny now but it was not funny then. To satisfy my innermost inquisition, I pushed a little harder by asking “do you see me as a friend, a sister, or something more?” Guys, the answer I got was zilch! Nada, nothing, no response and that even made my world crumble more. I was so disappointed and I hated myself for attempting to even open the “door” in the first place.
This was months ago and I consoled myself with the fact that asking gave me the courage to decide what I wanted for myself. We both moved on from the incident and are still very good friends. I am so glad I made that decision, because I was able to learn from that experience and stopped day dreaming about something that was probably never meant to be.
I’m sure we’ve all had moments where due to one circumstance or another, we feel like our world is crashing. Like I advised at my previous post “Communication is Key,” it is always better to say what is on your mind. Irrespective of the outcome, do it for your own sanity! But, be careful because once you open the door you can never close it. You also have to be willing to take whatever is in stall for you at the other end of the door.
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